Halfway Point: Some Honest Thoughts

This trip has wrecked my life; it has taken everything that I believed was important and shattered it. And this has been one of the best experiences of my life. 

Being in this country has pushed me so far past what I thought was my limit. My heart has been broken over and over again. And yet, I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. 

Through the process of temporarily losing everything – my family, my friends, even my health- I am discovering what really matters. In this place of brokenness, I am finding something truly beautiful – purpose. 

When I was in high school, my English teacher had an incredibly bright classroom with every inch of it covered in a cheerful yellow. But my favorite part of her room was the quote she had painted on one wall. In bold, black letters against the sunflower hue, it read:

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. 

Ever since I read those words in 8th grade, that simple truth has stuck with me. So often, I rush myself through life, doing more and more tasks until my purpose gets buried beneath a pile of to-do lists. 

India has caused me to ask why. India has challenged me to take a deeper look at who I am. India has made me question. 

As I wrestled with intimidating questions and doubts within myself, I couldn’t bring myself to write on my blog. If I could not process what was going on by myself, how in the world could I put that feeling into words to share with other people?

By struggling to answer these questions, I have already learned so much about myself. I have noticed that I love planning and writing and organizing; I enjoy being with people and learning about them; most importantly, I have learned that I am always hopeful. 

From the other side of the world, overcoming poverty and food insecurity seems difficult, but doable. As I have gotten closer to these problems, I can see that issues are incredibly complex – a giant spiderweb of inadequacies. These problems won’t be solved merely by money or force of will. Yes, those are pieces to the puzzle, but the real solutions will come from innovative ideas and people who never give up. 

So that’s where my purpose lies. I cannot change the world or solve any of the looming problems facing our world, but I can always care for the person right in front of me; I can always hope for continual growth; I can always work towards a better tomorrow.

I’ll finish with two of my favorite quotes of all time. With their deep truths, these words have inspired me and I hope they’ll inspire you too. 

“Every day, we have a choice. We can let the fear of something that is really small compared to the greatness of God cripple us. Or we can take a risk, do something to help someone else, make a person smile, change someone’s world. All we have to do is decide to get up and embrace it.”

– Katie Davis
“People who really want to make a difference in the world usually do it, in one way or another. And I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: they hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, those small changes add up. Sometimes, they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world.”

-Beth Clark